best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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