Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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