I'm really into asian looking animals
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
