11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
