just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
