That's intense
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
