She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
