And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I had to cum in my sink.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
