i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
