My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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