where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
