The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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