Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
