so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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