how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
