i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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