Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
