I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
