i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize