Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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