I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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