New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize