HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
