he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize