So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
