I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
