so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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