it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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