her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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