Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
