Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
