He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
