OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize