Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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