im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
