Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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