I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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