I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
