just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
