My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
