I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
