Four minutes until I can fart!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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