Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
