I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
