drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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