The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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