i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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