I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
