His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
