It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I understand Curling. That high.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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