Umm I'm too high to move.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
