If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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