i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
