Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
