So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
