I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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