seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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