I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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