I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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