butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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