i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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