He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
