The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it glows. i had to have it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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