You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
