And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
