then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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