I've blown a few things in my day
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
