the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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