And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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