I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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