I want to make a zoo with you.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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