it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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