And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
