brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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