I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
