i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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