she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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