I look better un-naked...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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