you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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