You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
