Where is the hickey?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
