She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
