And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
