weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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